An introduction is in order

An introduction is in order

The X-2 Pincer moves through an underwater canyon

The rusty hinges squealed as Beli Flinthammer opened the door.

“Ach, it smells like a wet dog in here!”

“Ye donnae smell that good yerself,” growled the bedraggled dwarf drying himself off in the hold of the X-2 Pincer.

“Where’s this shaman, then?” Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer barked. “Ah donnae see no squids in here.”

“Me, I’m a shaman of the Earthen Ring,” the dwarf said.

“Ye?” Beli asked. “There ain’t no shaman in Ironforge ‘cept them squids.”

“I’m a true son of Aerie Peak, I am!”

“Can’t be,” Ringo said, waggling a finger at him. “Nae blue eye shadow.”

“Donnae mock me clan’s sacred war paint!”

“More like makeup fer a pretty, pretty elf princess,” Ringo sneered, then winced as his wife slapped him in the back of the head.”

“Idjit, we come seekin’ the Earthen Ring’s help, and ye’re antagonizin’ the first one we find.”

“What did ye need, Daughter o’ Ironforge?”

“King Magni Bronzebeard, seekin’ ta find th’ root of the earthquakes that were ravagin’ Khaz Modan, performed a ritual spelled out on some tablets brought back from Ulduar.”

“And th’ ritual dinnae work?”

“Nay, it worked, all right. But it wasn’t a metaphor when it talked about makin’ him one with the earth — the king got turned into solid diamond.”

The Wildhammer dwarf whistled.

Guy Orgy

“And ye reckoned a shaman could turn stone to flesh? That’s a bit beyond my ken, I’m afraid.”

“Great, we’ve gone through all this to find out that the gryphon-humper’s useless,” Ringo snapped, getting another slap to the back of his head from his wife.

“I do know of someone who might be able to help, though,” the Wildhammer said, shooting a murderous glance at Ringo. “More than 15,000 years ago, stone troggs and Earthen traveled from Uldum to Deepholm. These Earthen were some of the first after the Titans created the second batch of them, which were immune to the curse that created the troggs and dwarves. Between that and livin’ in the Elemental Plane all this time, they might know something about turning diamond back into meat.”

“Sounds good,” Beli said. “How do we get there, though?”

“Before the battle, we had just gotten some flasks of this potion that can take us there — the Earthen Ring has work there, as well. Ye can have some of mine.”

“Thank ye,” Beli said. “Me name’s Beli Flinthammer. This lummox is Ringo.”

“Great ta meet ye,” said the Wildhammer. “Me name’s Gyorgi Stonekeg.”

“‘Guy Orgy?'” Ringo repeated, incredulously.

Beli slapped him again.

“I’ll tell ye what,” Gyorgi said, as he handed out the potions. “If the Stonefather doesn’t have any good advice, I’ll see if I can convince the High Thane to let me go commune with Magni. I might not be able to turn him back into flesh, but any shaman worth his totem can at least talk to the elements.”

“Fair enough,” Beli nodded.

“I can tell ye what he’s gonna say, though,” Gyorgi said, as they faded away, wiping the potion from his own lips.

“What’s that?” she asked, her body fading away.

“‘Help, help, I’ve been turned into solid diamond!'”

“Idjit.”

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