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Month: November 2010

In defense of the king’s lands

In defense of the king’s lands

Ringo walking out of the Deeprun Tram

Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer rushed out of the Deeprun Tram station and into Tinker Town. The home of the Gnomeregan government in exile had been in the process of shutting down, after the Battle for Gnomeregan and the establishment of New Tinkertown, but right now, it was packed with dwarven and gnomish refugees fleeing Deathwing’s onslaught.

“That’s the last time Ah listen to a bloody squid,” Ringo snarled, half-guiding, half-shoving his in-laws, the Rockbottoms, toward an authoritative-looking gnome with an officer of the Ironforge Guard. “Ah was away from me homeland and family when they needed me most!”

“Mountaineer!” a gruff voice barked from across the crowded hall. “What are you doing here?”

“Sir!” Ringo snapped off the best salute he could manage, as he was jostled by refugees. “Ah was in Stormwind, sir. The Earthen Ring …”

“What is your regular posting?” The guard wore the insignia of an officer of the Ironforge Guard.

“Loch Modan, sir,” Ringo said, then blurted out, unable to stop himself. “Sir, me family is there, is it …”

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The day that Deathwing came

The day that Deathwing came

It was a cool autumn morning in Loch Modan, but dwarves are made of sturdy stuff. After suffering through her son’s cabin fever for days, Beli Flinthammer had decided the best cure was a picnic lunch on the shores of the loch near the Stonewrought Dam, which she planned to explore with Bael after lunch until the boy was exhausted.

“Dwagon.”

“Nay, Bael, I told ye: That’s a crocolisk.” She was already looking forward to Bael being worn out and asleep on the ride back to Thelsamar on the back of her faithful Sam the Ram.

“Uh dwagon.”

“Bael, help Mommy get lunch set up.”

“Dwagon!” Insistent, the boy tugged on his mother’s sleeve and stabbed a finger toward the south.

“I’m tellin’ ye, Bael, that’s a … Eonar protect us!”

“UH BIG DWAGON!”

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Rituals of power

Rituals of power

Ringo and Beer Run bringing in five arrested cultists

Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer had his hands full ever since arriving in Stormwind. He yawned as he spurred an equally exhausted Beer Run forward across the canal bridge, bringing the latest crop of cultists he’d arrested to the stockade.

“Unhand me, loyalist scum,” snarled one, his wrists bound behind his back.

“Save yer breath,” Ringo muttered. “Ye’ll want to be savin’ it ta pray to Cho’Gall or whoever ye worship, once yer in the clink with the rest of yer friends.”

“Don’t think you’ve won,” another cultist chimed in. “This city will fall!”

“Ah reckon the reason ye were able to infiltrate the city so well is that half of the regular residents of Stormwind are already touched in the head anyway,” Ringo said. He dismounted from his ram at the Stockade and pulled each cultist off their horse, keeping them from cracking their heads open on the cobblestones, but taking little care with them otherwise.

“It is not too late to save yourself from the coming catastrophe!” cried a third cultist, as Ringo shoved them inside the building, herding them for the warden, who was standing watch near the staircase down to the damp dungeons below the city’s canals.

“More cultist traitors?” Warden Thelwater asked. “Good job getting’ ’em off the streets.”

“Someone told them it were a good idea to light incense and their ridiculous purple candles while trying to hide their presence in town. Frostmaw’s allergic to their incense, so Ah jus’ followed th’ sneezin’ bear.”

“We came to bring the master’s prophecy into being,” one cultist spat as a guard led him down into the dungeons. “The rituals have already begun and we are too numerous for you to stop us all!”

“Think there’s anything to their threats?” Thelwater asked, as the cultist’s threats faded away.

“Nah,” Ringo scoffed. “These types couldn’t even manage a ritual to summon a table full of strudel, much less anything fer Stormwind to worry about.”

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Signs of the times

Signs of the times

Ringo chasing a cultist through the Dwarven District of Stormwind

Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer squinted as the lights overhead flashed past as he rode the Deeprun Tram through the darkness.

He peered at the dark, never-used station the tram passed. He didn’t know what the gnomes had intended for them when they built the tram, but legend had it they were now overrun with leper gnomes, troggs and night elf prostitutes. Ringo shuddered.

The tram stopped with a lurch in Stormwind, and he hopped off, eager to find this Earthen Ring person who apparently needed the help of the mountaineers. He stepped out of the station into the warm air of the District in Stormwind.

To the dwarves who lived here — including Ringo’s in-laws, the Rockbottoms — this was the real city, and the place they rebuilt first after Stormwind’s destruction during the First War at the hands of the Horde. The other areas of the city were the “human districts,” where beggars pleaded for coins and elves and draenei danced on mailboxes. Life here, though, in these streets filled with the smoke of countless forges and the banging and clanging of hammers and machinery, made sense and it was the home to practical folks.

“Leave behind your homes, your possessions and your cares, and join us!” a woman, wearing signs draped across the front and back of her dark robe, called out as she shuffled through the streets barefoot. “Azeroth is coming to an end. Make your peace now!”

“Khaz’goroth on a cracker!” Ringo snapped. “Ye normally have to pay to see a show like this.”

He jogged after her, his mountaineer’s winter cloak snapping in the breeze behind him.

“It is not too late to save yourselves from the coming catastrophe!” the woman called out. “You needn’t perish with Azeroth. Follow me and live!”

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