I’m a Hero, Damn It

I’m a Hero, Damn It

Chaka chaka chaka. Chaka chaka chaka.

The swift yellow mechanostrider. Brassy yellow. Obnoxiously yellow.

Chaka chaka chaka. Chaka chaka chaka.

And the abhorrently loud mechanization was about to be all mine … all mine.

Chaka chaka chaka. Chaka chaka chaka.

“I’ll take one of these to go.” I say as I check out me reflection on the metallic surface of the mechnostrider, winking at meself.

Milli Featherwhistle scratches the back of her head while I randomly press the buttons.

“Erm … I really don’t know you that well, sorry,” the gnome shrugged, “I mean, as an authorized Mechanostrider dealer, I really only can sell my mounts to those people who are considered exalted amongst the gnomes. If you ever are recognized as exalted to Gnomeregan, I’d be happy to show you what I have to offer.”

I stop stroking the mechanical bird long enough to hoist up me robe and remove a wrinkled piece of paper from me back pocket. Whipping it open, I proudly display the contents for the purple-goggled gnome to read.

She mutters to herself as she scans the barely legible handwriting of High Tinker Mekkatorgue, the King of Gnomes.

“Well, I’ll be. The High Tinker has the highest praises for your services to gnomekind.”

I flash her a toothy grin. Hmm. Hey, a gold tooth wouldn’t look half-bad …

“That’ll be 900 gold, ma’am.”

I blink.


“Nine hundred gold.”

“I don’t think you understand. This letter says I’m exalted. With gnomes.” I shake the parchment pointedly.

“That it does.”

“What’s with the sticker price?”

“Same price all gnomes pay. You merely earned the privilege to buy one. We do offer an additional 10 percent discount if you’re a sergeant.”

I do a face palm and then look in me coin bag.

“I don’t have 900 gold,” I meekly whisper.

“Ah.” Milli ponders the situation. “Well, we do have older models over here. For you, they’d be mere 72 gold. They’re not quite as fast, but they’re reliable and will get you most places.”

I look in me coin bag again. I lower me voice again.

“I don’t have 72 gold.” I just donated over 200 stacks of runecloth. I should be getting a serious tax break at the very least. What the hell.

Milli tucks her hands in her back pocket, shrugging sympathetically.

I look upon the swift yellow mechnostrider longingly.

“You’re not discontinuing them any time soon, are you?”

Milli reassures me that one would be put on layaway just for me. A small, but comforting consolation.

I turn to leave when Binjy Featherwhistle, the nearby gnomish pilot, pipes up.

“Hey, Beli! I can teach you how to ride a mechnostrider.” He points towards the swift yellow mechnostrider model and wiggles his eyebrows. “Only 18 gold for the lesson!”

I look in me coin bag one more time and this time, I flashed him a wide grin.

Chaka chaka chaka. Chaka chaka chaka.

6 thoughts on “I’m a Hero, Damn It

  1. You’re practically one of us now! Congratulations 🙂 I’ve yet to hit Exalted with anybody and you’re already there with like three factions.

  2. But … but you’ve got the really tedious ones out of the way like the Timbermaw faction! Those furry bastards won’t take me runecloth.

  3. Wow, awesome. Congrats. =)

    Now you need to work on your reputation with Stormwind — the one faction that really matters in the Alliance. =p

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